This week I was going to write about weaning. I was going to regale you with tales of my ineptitude when it comes to getting my children to eat and suggest some ways to avoid the many mistakes I’ve made. But I can’t. Ever since I heard the news about Jennie from Edspire losing her beautiful daughter at 9 months old, I’ve barely thought about anything else. The horror and tragedy of it struck right at my heart, and I know that many other bloggers are feeling exactly the same.
Although I’ve never met Jennie, hers was the first blog I ever followed and I read every post. When she was pregnant with Matilda Mae, I was pregnant with my second child too. I followed the pregnancy, birth and development of Matilda Mae with interest, not least because I was going through the same process. What’s always been clear from Jennie’s posts is that she is a wonderful mother. She cares hugely about her family and puts them first. It’s unbelievably cruel that such a thing can happen to anyone, but seems particularly unfair that it happened to her. I hope that she is kind to herself. I’m sure that if any family can get through this, hers can. I just wish they didn’t have to.
I wondered if it was odd that I’ve been so affected by what’s happened, given that I never had the pleasure of meeting Matilda Mae, but I’m not so sure. Blogs like Edspire give a window into someone else’s world. With each post you get a little glimpse into how everyone’s getting on, what they’re up to, and their hopes and dreams. After a while you start to think of them as friends. You share their ups and downs. So it’s not surprising that this tragedy has had bloggers throughout the country – and further afield, I’m sure – weeping at their computer screens.
It’s sad that it often takes something like this for us to take stock and realise how lucky we are. I’m pretty good at counting my blessings and have always been grateful for the hand I’ve been dealt. We had a tricky journey to bring both of our babies into the world, and perhaps that’s why I’m acutely aware that life is fragile and that things can change in an instant. I tell the children I love them all the time and I think they feel happy and safe. If they were taken from me tomorrow, what would I regret? I think I’d regret spending too much time doing things for them and not enough time doing things with them. I’m so busy making dinner and sorting out the washing that I miss hours of time with them. I’m going to try to be a bit more relaxed about cooking every meal from scratch and getting to the bottom of the laundry basket, and more time on the floor playing. My children would like to send their love and thanks to Matilda Mae for that.